Camping in the crispy dry grass, waiting patiently.
My prey is inching closer and closer, I’m getting hungry just looking at it. I imagined the tough meat and all that juicy red blood underneath the hair. My mouth was watering just looking at it.
Right! I jump and miss. I run as fast as I can then leaping. I’m on. My claws dig deep. I slide off. It runs. “No you can’t getaway now, my stomach is hungry and I need to take you home for my family, otherwise they will starve to death.”
I start running but the buffalo’s already ahead. So we let it off because we're running out of energy. I slowed down. We weren't quite quick enough I thought to myself. I am hungry though. I am not going to let myself down. So I run with all might and pull him to the ground. As he yelps for help, I kill it.
Right! I jump and miss. I run as fast as I can then leaping. I’m on. My claws dig deep. I slide off. It runs. “No you can’t getaway now, my stomach is hungry and I need to take you home for my family, otherwise they will starve to death.”
I start running but the buffalo’s already ahead. So we let it off because we're running out of energy. I slowed down. We weren't quite quick enough I thought to myself. I am hungry though. I am not going to let myself down. So I run with all might and pull him to the ground. As he yelps for help, I kill it.
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ReplyDeleteKia ora John,
ReplyDeleteBuffalo Get Away is very exciting, descriptive and giving clues along the way. I have done something similar about a squirrel and a hawk. What a you chasing?
Kia ora, I am Melody from Makauri School.
ReplyDeleteI really liked How you are building on to your ideas and explaning what will happen.
I learnt that You like hunting and trying to provide food for your family.
Maybe you could use more descriptive words to make your story more detailed.
If you would like to see my learning visit my blog here
Mā te wā
_Melody
Hi Melody, thank you for commenting on my blog.
DeleteI just read yours it was very discriptive.
Mā te wā
John
Kia ora, I am Klarysa from Makauri School.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your writing and maybe you can add some more detail.
I learnt that you could catch a buffalo.
Maybe you could add abit more writing.
If you would like to see my learning visit my blog https://makauriklarysal.blogspot.com/
Mā te wā
klarysa
Kia ora,
DeleteThank you for your feedback. I will reread my piece of writing and add in more detail.